My life continues to be touched by death. I just found out that the first guy I dated in college passed away a few days ago. It`s a very strange feeling.
When you see how easily life can be taken away, you start noticing how amazing and not terrible it really is. You see how unfair it is, yes, but also how beautiful it can be.
He wasn`t a part of my life any more (which I know is for the better), but I learned a lot from him about people and relationships and the darkness inside all of us. He was far from perfect (he could be pretty awful, actually), but he was intelligent and young. It`s really sad that he died before he could figure himself out.
I hope you find rest and whatever contentment you can, John. All is forgiven.
And please take care of yourselves, everyone. I don`t know if I can handle losing anyone else forever. I love you all.