Sunday, July 11, 2010

the end of a gimp day

I hope that I'm not less funny and interesting than I was a few years ago. I read some posts from one of my old blogs, and it seems like I was just full of wit and inspiration when I lived in a haze of drunkenness/hungoverness. Not that I want to go back to that lifestyle. But still.

It makes me wonder. How do we keep the good pieces of our youth if we lose the bad as we get older? Do you have to keep the bad--like a pretty bad drinking habit--to keep the good?

I think watching hours and hours of documentaries melted my brain a little. I watched documentaries about anorexia, 2012, the obesity epidemic, and one about David Reimer, a man whose penis was destroyed in a botched circumcision when he was a baby. He was raised as a girl because this crazy doctor was obsessed with the idea that "nurture" can influence gender more than "nature." It's a really sad story that I first heard in my women's and gender studies class a couple years ago.

Maybe that's it. I had to write these little bios to send out with my short story when I submitted it, and I realized that I've been out of college for a little over two years. I didn't really know what to put into that little bio.

"Emily graduated in 2008. Since then, she has slacked off and made excuses for herself and is only just now starting to sort of get her shit together. She currently lives and teaches in Japan."

Sometimes 24 feels so young and sometimes it feels so much older than I've ever been. I'm practically someone's wife. I make a salary. I feel inclined to fully cover my breasts in public.

I just hope that the impending doom of 25 will keep me motivated. That, and the fact that the world is probably really going to end on December 21, 2012.

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