Well, the Statesboro Blues are finally starting to take over my life, the feeling of overall "blah" and semi-hopelessness that comes from being in a small town in Georgia with nothing to do. It's a feeling I've been battling my whole life.
As usual, it's the people that make this place bearable.
I guess I'm suffering from more than just boredom. I'm remembering what it is to be disconnected from your anchor, from the person whose life is connected to your own. I'm just floating around, which is usually more lonely than fun.
Still nothing definite on a job, although I have been offered one. I have to attend an interview with a Board of Education in Japan in order to officially get the job. Zack's company might also have something for me. I thought I would have an answer by today. Not so much.
I'm also feeling bogged down by the constant barrage of heavy, unhealthy food that I keep consuming. I watched an interview with Michael Pollan the other day (on Oprah) and he doesn't even consider some of what I've been eating as food. I would have to agree with him. I filled my cart with fruit and veggies yesterday in an attempt to lift my spirits and self-esteem. Everything about this culture is toxic. Heating up processed frozen food in plastic. Covering everything in antibiotic, hormone-laden cheese. Staring at reality TV shows and commercials for hours on end.
I need to go outside. I need to talk to God. I need to figure out what's going to happen next. I need to write. I need to get something done. Anything. Just to feel accomplished. I've never done well when I have too much time to think.
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be. "