Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My eyes are burning.

Looking at Livejournal and Myspace and all these virtual places that I inhabited during high school and college is like driving past old abandoned shopping malls and Wal-Marts. These artificial places that used to be so full of life and now they're just empty. They just stand there indefinitely, like a memorial. The empty shells of my old life.

I'm so proud of how my life has turned out since I was an 18 year old on the brink of alcoholism. My old blog reminds me of my first college relationship, which was just as toxic as my relationship with Golden Grain. It makes me shudder to think of how things could have turned out.

I'm healthy now. In the way I see myself and the world, in the way that I treat others, and in the way that I love. I have people in my life who help me be healthy.

Even if they are an eyesore, I'm glad that those memories are frozen in a place that I can return to sometimes. I'm glad that I can see them from far away and know that I don't ever have to go back there again if I don't want to.

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