battle of the ages

I would estimate that it has rained for like 26 of the last 36 hours or so. I wish that I had bought a pair of ugly rain boots a long time ago.

I stole a cup of coffee today. I`m supposed to pay ￥50 per cup (that`s less than 50 cents) at work, but I left my wallet at home. I try to avoid drinking coffee because I have an addictive personality and am found of getting a buzz off caffeine.

But I woke up at 5:30 this morning. I had a weird dream about Lady Gaga. I think that her arrival on Earth is a sign of the apocalypse. The dream probably stemmed from me and Zack watching a documentary about Stephen Hawkings` views on the universe and the possibility of life existing in places other than Earth.

Clearly, Lady Gaga is an alien. She is an alien with mind control powers. She invades my Google News feed, her `Bad Romance` song invaded my every waking thought for a couple weeks, and now she invades my slumber.

In the dream, I was a commercially successful writer who had agreed to appear on some MTV special. Gaga was also appearing on the show. We were in the dressing room, where there was an aquarium full of weird sting ray-like creatures who were so smart that they could jump out of their tank and throw food to their friends. Anyways, Gaga was a bitch. That`s all you need to know about the whole thing. She was wearing nothing but fishnet pantyhose while the costumer measured her. And she was really mean. She would only talk to someone if they first complimented her, like `Oh you brilliant artist, you amazing singer you, what color eyeliner do you want?` I refused to praise her. Although I was going on MTV, my dream writer self still had some integrity. I could sense this veil of evil around her.

I wonder if dreams hold any significance at all. When it`s a bad dream, like me getting a tumor or getting in a plane crash or being kidnapped by the Crypt Keeper, I always hope that they don`t. But when it`s something strange or exciting, like the idea that Lady Gaga is really working for Satan, I kind of hope they do. I guess dreams are like your brain having a period. Dreams are the shedding of muck around your thoughts.

Thinking about life on other planets or evil existing in our own just makes me think about uncertainty. I suddenly have some uncertainty in my life. Some people find it exciting. I do sometimes. But mostly I just find it terrifying.

In other news, my ankle is pretty much all better. I didn`t have to take a day off work. It`s amazing what a laying-around-documentary-watching binge and a bag of ice will do.

I`m gonna go steal another cup of coffee.